Aden's words... (Part 2)

Okay, it's a super duper hot day today and both father and son are taking their afternoon nap while I'm here blogging with Baby G （most likely sleeping too!)

So back to Aden's words Part 2...

Aden is really talking a lot now! He's so good at talking that many times I don't know if I should be laughing or to be strict with what he is saying. I have to give credit to the Child Care Center that he is currently attending as I really think that the teachers are teaching him well yet at the same time he is also learning a lot of "not-very-nice-attitude" from the other kids in school.

Take for example...

1) Eh! 干什么! 我跟Mummy讲, 跟Papa讲。。。

My little man has learn to be a complain king. Whenever someone interrupted him while he is in the midst of playing, he would say, "Eh! 干什么! 跟Mummy讲, 跟Papa讲。。。" I have to admit that I kind of like hearing him saying this because he sounds really cute.

2) 小心啊! Wet Wet!

This little tot is quite a sweet boy. Whenever it rained and the floor is wet, I would always tell him this. "小心啊! Wet Wet!" And one fine day when we were walking back home from the car-park, he held onto my hand and told me to walk carefully! Oh my, my heart melted instantly!

3) “不要Mummy冲, 我要Aden冲” ，“我要Mummy出去。”

I believe tots at this age are curious and playful. Aden has been wanting to bathe on his own and we have been allowing him to bathe himself now, but of course under our supervision. Whenever I suggest for him to have a bath, he would quickly say, “不要Mummy冲, 我要Aden冲” and once he stripped himself naked, he would rush into the bathroom and wait for me to turn on the tab for him and he would then ask me to get out.

4) Hello! 喂! Police! Bye-bye! . . . Police 来抓你了!

Calling police was taught by my FIL. I dislike the idea of teaching Aden to use the phone to call the police! I cannot imagine if it were to happen! But thankfully Aden doesn't know and wasn't taught what number to call (yet). However, he sounded really cute whenever he picks up his toy phone and started pressing some numbers, put the phone to his ear and go, “Hello! 喂! Police! Bye-bye! . . . Police 来抓你了!”

5) 不是美佳，是美猪! (~_____~)|||

Yes, I've been telling Aden our names and then one fine morning after we woke up, I decided to test him to see if he remembers our name. And he started calling me "美猪" which makes me laugh really hard because nobody has taught him this at all! And my little teaser knows that I will not get angry with him calling me "美猪" and whenever he feels like teasing me, he would go, "不是美佳，是美猪!". But of course, whenever he wants anything from me, like a toy or a candy, he would reverse it and say, ""不是美猪，是美佳!".

Our Image

I've been contemplating for a while as to whether I should blog about my miscarriage experience. It was a painful experience that nobody would like to go through, and unfortunately, studies show that 10%-15% of miscarriages happen during the first trimester.

I've decided to blog about it as I want my dear child to be remembered always and be part of our memories in this blog.

"My dear child, wherever you are right now, I believe we will meet each other again."

So let me begin...

It was in Aug 2010 that we found out that I was pregnant again. The emotions were different compared to us having found out about my pregnancy with Aden. With "Image", Hubb and I were worried, unprepared but of course there was still a little sense of joy. Soon, we made an appointment with Dr G. Tan and had the confirmation about the pregnancy.

This is "Image".

p.s. if I'm not mistaken, "Image" was made in Europe. :p

Anyway, we were not quite ready for another child because Aden was not even one year old, couldn't walk on his own and still require us to carry! And both of us were not mentally prepared for another one due to many other factors like finances, work, and desired lifestyle.

Nevertheless, what's done cannot be undone. No matter how unprepared we were, we had to be responsible to our child.

During the first appointment with Dr Tan, everything went on as normal as when I had Aden except that I clearly remember her telling me that I have to be very careful during the first trimester as miscarriages happen. Her words left a deep impression in me but I didn't give much thought about it until later on.

After the first appointment with Dr Tan, I started taking folic acid daily. However, as the days go by, I began to feel uneasy. Call it the mother's instinct. Words cannot describe the kind of uneasiness I had. There were a few night I even woke up with nightmares and weird dreams. However, I didn't thought that I would suffer a miscarriage as I am young and healthy.

On that faithful 9 Sept 2010, Hubb and I went for the second appointment at Dr Tan's clinic. The ultrasound scan revealed that my baby's heart had stopped beating and the size of the fetus showed that it grew 'til about 8 weeks old. By then, I was supposed to be in the 9th week of pregnancy.

I was devastated and heartbroken. I lost my child 1 week ago without even realizing. What kind of mother am I. I could not control my emotion and I kept crying. Dr Tan suggested that I should do the 'dilation and curettage' (D&C) procedure ASAP to clean up the womb else the body will discharge "it" as a foreign tissue and I will go into extreme pain like menstrual cramp.

We fixed the appointment on 11 Sept 2010, Saturday. I can never forget that faithful day when I went into TMC with a heavy heart. I felt like I was going for an abortion except the fact that my child is no longer alive inside me.

It was a terrible wait at TMC. Thankfully Hubb accompanied me throughout the ordeal. I don't remember how long we waited but it seemed forever. I was then pushed to the OT alone and laid outside with more waiting. I couldn't help but sob quietly and I felt really terrible. I dislike waiting. Part of me wanted the procedure to be done quickly, yet at the same time, I couldn't bear to part with my baby. The OT was filled with tears of joy and sadness. The joy came from the cries of the newborns who were born via caesarean and the daddies and mommies. I was the sadness.

After a long wait, I was pushed into the OT. That was my first time in a OT, well, I'm not sure if it would be my last. It looked scary though. I was greeted by Dr Tan who told me not to worry and that it will be over soon and the anesthetist told me that the injection will be a little painful like ant's bite. Before I knew it, I was in "coma" and woke up when the procedure was done. I didn't feel any pain at all except extreme fatigue. I guess it must be the anesthetic and my broken heart.

Hubb was waiting for me patiently and the moment I saw him, I broke down again. We stayed a little while as the nurse said that I had to rest. I'm really thankful for a very supportive husband.

We then went to pick Aden from my grandma's place and made our way home. Everything went on as usual and I tried not to think about it. However, it was easier said than done. Soon, I sank into depression. I couldn't sleep at night and kept crying. I blamed myself for not taking care of my body and caused this to happen. In short, I was living in denial.

Thankfully, this painful ordeal didn't last long. I had a lot of supports from Hubb and my dear Mom and little Aden. Though he was young, Aden seemed to know something was amiss. Whenever he saw me crying, he would call upon me in his sweetest voice and gave me a big bear hug.

Also, surprisingly, I discovered that I was not the only one who went through this. Some of my friends who are mommies now began to share with me their personal experiences as well. I was not alone.

It may be a blessing in disguise.

To our Image,

"If tears could build a stairway, and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again."

With Love

happy 26th birthday & 3rd yr wedding anniversary!

Last Thursday Hubby and I celebrated my birthday and our wedding anniversary! How time flies! Thinking back, Hubb and I have been through many ups and downs together. There were moments for happiness and arguments, laughter and tears, heart breaking and love-makings! All these are memories and moments like these made us stronger as a couple.

Hubb bought a cake (my fav! Rive Gauche!) on Wednesday, hoping to surprise me but too bad, I opened the fridge anyway. As we're sleeping pretty early these days, Aden and Hubb sang birthday song (and Baby G dancing in the tummy) and we cut and ate the cake before the clock strikes twelve!

And my goodness! Hubb surprised me with yet another Chanel loot! :p Honestly, I wasn't expecting anything from Hubby as I had already told him I want nothing expensive. Maybe just a Braun Hair Brush that's worth less than a hundred dollar. But anyway, I was moved to tears when I saw the Chanel paper bag that Hubb brought into the room.

It's a wallet and Hubb said that it is to match my bag. It's a long, calf skin, patent wallet in lavender color. (Forgot to take picture!) To be honest, I do like it the very moment I opened it up but I already have a LV long wallet so another long wallet is not a very practical choice to me. Thankfully, Hubb said that we could go down to Chanel the next day to exchange for another design. *Hooray!

I felt rather bad because I didn't pick the original wallet as my final choice but Hubb was cool about it and I eventually (incidentally) chose one that is slightly more expensive than the original one. *Oopsie!

I, too, gotten Hubb a gift though not a surprise at all. We went to Hello! Singtel Shop and I got him the Samsung S3. Initially Hubb wanted the blue one but he felt the urge to change the phone ASAP 'cos the Samsung Note resale price is dropping like crazy! Well, he's a happy man now!

We ended the day with a sumptuous dinner at Crystal Jade and some play time at the playground with Aden. It's always very heart-warming to see the 2 (very soon there will be 3) most important men of my life having fun and wrestling with each other on the bed at night.


p.s. i love you

Thank you darling for all your love and support all these while. Thank you for tolerating all my nonsense and always here for me whenever I needed you. Thank you for working so hard for the family. ilyvm